Top 10 Confidence Killers
Filters of insecurity
Be more confident in social situations
Ten “Filters of Insecurity” That destroy your confidence in social situations.
We all have these filters of insecurity to one degree or another. They are kind of like this tinted glasses inside of our heads that cover everything that we perceive.
For example, let’s say you have a person with high self-esteem vs a person with low self-estem and they receive the same compliment. The person says: Hey, I just your jacket, nice jacket. The person with high self-esteem will acknowledge the comment and move one. The person with low self-esteem would perceive it differently, like an attack or an actual insult. The way he/she perceives the world is operating differently.
I would play along with it as it was a joke. Not only am I free of filters of insecurity, I also have filters of confidence. The high self-esteem people have filters of confidence that defend you from attacks like that.
If you have high self-esteem and you interpret it as a joke, it becomes a joke… Not only to you but to everyone else around who are witnessing you. And it’s the same with the low self-esteem guys reacting to the compliment.
Perception is reality
I once gave a compliment to a guy wearing a cool brown bomber jacket and the person later on mention he felt insulted, which was not at all the intention.
The concept is frame control. Your frame is the way how you perceive things to be in any given situation, any social interaction of course the strongest frame wins.
Think about how you would behave. You are walking on the street and a police officer comes to you and starts asking you a bunch of questions. You are going to act a certain way, say certain words: Yes sir, yes officer… You might not be able to hold eye contact, your body language would change.
Now, conversevely imagine a 10 year old comes up to you and asks you the same questions. If he asked you the same questions it’s unlikley that you would even give much thought to how you would respond at all. For a person with high-status, they kind of view the entire world the same way that you would to a ten year old.
Tolerance to social pressure is a conveyor of status. Demonstrating statues, demonstrating value is one of the most crucial aspects of charisma. Your inner game, sort-of speak affects your ability to withstand social pressure and like it or not that is going to manifest itself through your body language, your voice, your eye contact along with other social cues. That’s why it’s so important to pinpoint the so-called filters of insecurity.
The most common filters of insecurity:
1. Being stuck in your head. Have you ever been talking to somebody and realized that they are not really listening to you? Like they are somewhere else?